yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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