My Higher Power is John Stamos
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
