Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
