I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
