Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
