I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
