This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
