I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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