I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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