Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
