Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
