i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
