He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
