the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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