I look better un-naked...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
ttyl tear gas
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
