brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
