North Korea, Best Korea!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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