He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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