I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
