yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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