My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize