I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
