so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I CAN MOONWALK!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
