did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
