his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
try to milk me bitch
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
