he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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