But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Still dying that you shit outside
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
