i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
