Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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