I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
