so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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