I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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