there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
