Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
