Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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