Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
