last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize