Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
