Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Randomize
