lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
why didn't you poke me back
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
