and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
