dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
don't judge my taste in strippers
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
