theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
