So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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