are you still at the devil's house?
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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