Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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