you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
