he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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