Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
