Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
