omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
