There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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