someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You may now shotgun with the bride
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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