WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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