what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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