So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
