why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
