I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
