You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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