I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
