At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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