My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
