We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
