The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
