I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
