i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
