Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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