Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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