My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
