We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
