I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
