omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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